Mi Experiencia

Now that I have finished with my exams for the first session, I want to talk more about the experience of being here, instead of just my daily "what I'm up to" post. It has certainly been a roller coaster ride for me, with many ups and many downs. When I first got here in Espana, I was super excited for things to start and very nervous about my language skills. Like most students who study abroad, it was hard to adjust the first few weeks. For me, though, it ended up being that I didn't need to adjust to the culture, because truthfully, I wasn't shocked by anything. I needed to adjust to the loneliness of being in a foreign country where English is not the primary language. I had acquaintances from the USAC group, sure, but they weren't friends that I felt comfortable asking to hang out and do stuff with, nor was I invited for a while. I'm not sure what changed, but I'm glad it did.

The trip to Barcelona is still one of the highlights of this trip for me, and my friends were part of what made it so. More than that, though, I needed to adjust to myself and gain some confidence in my skills, both as a person and with the language. I can tell my skills have definitely grown stronger in the language aspect, because I can communicate with the local people on the street and with store owners. Albeit it might not be the most effective way to communicate, nor the most correct, but I am able to get my point across in their language. I have become a lot more confident with myself and my directional abilities while being here in Spain as well. The metro turned out to be super easy, and the streets are mostly all cuadrants, so everything is linked back to one another. I do get lost often, but I am able to find my way on my own after a few tries, which I didn't quite expect to be able to do when I got here. As far as adjusting to myself, it's been a difficult road. I am without a doubt my worst critic, and that has NOT helped me here at all. I doubt my abilities all the time, especially with the language. I doubt my abilities in the classroom too. After te first exam I got back, I'll admit my hopes were shattered. I was warned back at Tech, however, that the grading here is a lot tougher than in the states, and since we're cramming so much information into one month as opposed to one semester, the grade that I got was probably normal. It's not my usual grade though, so I needed to work up my confidence again in order to move forward.

Being here and being so independent has helped to make me a stronger person and it has helped me realize several things:

1) You only live once. This is most noticeable for me in regards to the food. I have tried things here that I would never have tried in the states, or that would have taken several times for me to try. I have decided that I want to experience the culture as normal as possible, so I eat what I am given without asking questions or making judgments before tasting it. Surprisingly (or maybe not), I have really enjoyed everything I have tried except the gazpacho. This just proves to me that I am capable of things I never knew, even of it's just in regards to trying food.

2) I have learned that I can't always expect to be correct, nor should I try to be. Every mistake I have made here, whether it be with the language or with directions, or in my schoolwork, I have learned from it, and many times it has given me a laugh and a memory that I can relive again and again, and be able to laugh at myself because of it.

3) I have learned to "dance". I am not an outgoing person by any means, and it's hard for me to open up to people and make friends. I have forced myself to go out and hang out with people when I didn't want to. This has helped me to become more open with my friends here and has helped me to feel like I fit in more. It has helped me to realize that it's ok if not everyone likes me, because there's people I don't like and it doesn't hurt them at all.

These things are only a small part of what makes being here so amazing. There's so much history here in Spain, and I'm so honored to be able to see it and witness it! When I was in the Sagrada, for example, I was awestruck. It was so humbling to be there, and I felt just so... insignificant? It was definitely a once in a lifetime experience that I will never forget. Even being in the parks here in Madrid is breathtaking. When I was in the Rosaleda I was in awe of the beautiful (albeit slightly fried) roses. Nature is so powerful, I was glad to be able to witness it. The royal history here in Madrid is wonderful too. The palacios are incredible, and being able to tour them is so wonderful! I love being here, everything is so picturesque; even the garbage cans are fancy. I hope I continue to have rising feelings throughout my next month here in Spain, because this truly has been a once in a lifetime experience that I will never forget.